Hoi.

Oma is overleden. :( We zagen het al wel aankomen, maar het is toch heel vreemd.
Maar zit nog beetje in de ontkenningsfase geloof ik..


Hebben ook vakantie naar Medulin, Kroatië geboekt.
(Judith, Selay, Michel, Julius, Kristijan &ik)

Nieuwe kleertjes voor zomer:

Ben verliefd op de shorts.

xxR

Oh no don't go changing, that's what you told me from the start
Thought you were something different, that's when it all just fell apart

Like you're so perfect
And I cant measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else but now I see
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end of you and me
Coz the girl that you want, she was tearing us apart
Coz she's everything, everything I'm not

Its not like I need somebody, telling me where I should go at night
Don't worry you'll find somebody, someone to tell how to live their life

Coz your so perfect
And no one measures up
Youre all by yourself
And all messed up!

I was losing myself to somebody else, but now I see
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end, of you and me
Coz the girl that you want, she was tearing us apart
Coz she's everything, everything I'm not

Now wait a minute, because of you, I never knew all the things that I have
Hey don't you get it, im not going anywhere with you tonight coz this is my life!

I was losing myself to somebody else, but now I see
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end, of you and me
Coz the girl that you want, she was tearing us apart
Coz she's everything, everything I'm not
But now I see I don't wanna pretend so this is the end, of you and me
Coz the girl that you want, she was tearing us apart
Coz she's everything, everything I'm not.

Hiya!

I haven't been posting a lot around here lately. I think I know why. It is because I don't have a lot of energy. I have to think really well about how to spend my energy and which things will give me energy and that's why I'm not really blogging anymore. It might also be because I'm writing in my diary again. It's a nice way of letting myself calm down and putting my thoughts of the day into words. Of course this is also possible by typing a blog, but I'm always writing in my diary when I'm in bed, so it's something I got used to a little bit. I might post here sometimes, like I do now, but only when I really feel like it.

Love,

R

Well, I've typed a message here, but now I deleted it by accident.
Blurhh..
Well, the main thing that I said was that I had a screwed-up day, but from now on I want it to get better so it will get better and I will have lots of fun tonight at the Zenith.
And I had to do a talk at Dutch class but my teacher's girlfriend just had her baby last night so he didn't show and we sent him a card and went to deliver it at his house but we didn't see him.
And that sentence was supposed to look messy and too long.

Goodbye,

xxR

Today is a nice day so I think it's yellow, because I think yellow is a colour that represents happiness. Some people say it's the colour of hate, but I don't think colours represent negative things. As you've probably already noticed.

I feel happier, because I feel calmer and less stressed.
I'm feeling more comfortable about school, because I'm ahead in class on a couple of subjects that I find difficult, Greek, maths and history. Though maths is getting tougher after 34 assignments.
(That's where I'm stuck right now.)
Furthermore I'm looking forward to the weekend, most of all because it's my mum's birthday on Friday and most nice people we know are coming to visit. S & K are coming too, S in the afternoon and K in the evening, after I finish dance class. Which I'm also looking forward to, because we're learning this dance I totally love (until this point). The song speeds up after a while, but the beginning I find totally fabulous. It's classical and slow and well, I just love it! Our new dance teacher likes exactly the kind of music I like, so that rocks!

I'm afraid it's homework-time now, so I'm off!
Byebye!

xxR

Well.. what is there to tell..
If I would say today has not been nice at all, I will do my great afternoon with my love wrong.
Today was the day we have been together for 21 months. I think it is great that we have made it to this point, because even though we love each other very deeply, there have been some tough times.
There have also been tough times for me personally, and if it seems as if your loved one is almost never doing good, that can be quite exhausting for you. So to make a long story short, I am glad we made it this far and I hope that our love can overcome the differences for another long time. I really do. :)

But then, my day got sucky. For no apparent reason, I did not feel like being productive anymore. I actually had to prepare a lecture I am having tomorrow and study for a literature test for German which is very important, but I did not even get myself to do one of them. I was just.. feeling empty and hollow. I did not quite see any colours. My mum was at a parents' night at school about (my 'future' after) this school year and my dad was there too, with her! Though I thought that was great, I would have wanted to be there, to do something for me together with both of them. But unfortunately, this event was parent-only.
Well, so my mum was not there to talk to and I could not get myself to do anything I was supposed to be doing. I called my love, because I suddenly began having this insecure breakdown and the conversation did not end comforting. I hung up, because I felt hurt. That is more the case. Actually, I know I should not call him when I feel like that, it will only create tension. But still I was hoping he would be loving and comforting about me feeling insecure or something. I don't even know exactly what I was expecting. I just know I have to make myself feel better again.

Well, that was a message somewhat less colourful, right? I'm sorry, but I'm trying to listen to my own message I posted the day before yesterday. Keep seeing the colours. :)
I try. But I guess everybody does.

Goodnight.

Love,
R